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I Hate Where I Live…
posted: April 26, 2012

May 6th, 2012. The beginning of the latest drama at my shithole apartment complex. Two crazy ladies were evicted from my apartment building (novels could be written about these two, but I have neither the time or energy).

It was bad enough that for most of 2011, the owners of my slum thought it would be smart to hire people to build, then take down, then build, then take down, then build a fence around the property (sawing, hammering, loud talking/singing, et cetera…for almost a YEAR). That seriously hurt the quality of my work. Now, these two bitches were about to cause two months (and counting) of LOUD construction.

apartment hell

apartment hell

These two pictures showcase some of the destruction these old women did to their apartments. Spray painted wall, cut power cords, cut gas lines…bad stuff. This was the better of the two. The other apartment literally had the walls ripped away, exposing the beams. Amazing.

Enter the renovation. Now the owners of the slum have decided to fix up the apartments with new everything. I wouldn’t normally care, but this has translated into two plus months of CONSTANT construction. From 7am to near 10pm every night (illegal in the city of Burbank), I get hammering, sawing, screaming / singing….just a medley of every sound you can imagine that would be counter-production to getting any work done. Here…enjoy a medley…

I’ll address some of your suggestions before you even offer them: I can not afford to move (Mom’s cancer ate my savings). I can not just wear earplugs (construction goes through the plugs). Their power tools make it so I can not do any audio / video work between 7am and 10pm (it interferes with my capturing). On the rare days they do leave at a legal time, I can’t really do any work between 7p and 10p because then I’m completely ignoring my gf. I can’t work after 10p, because then I’ll be waking the gf up with the tape decks. I also can’t do any code after 10p solely because I am so mentally exhausted from the lack of sleep on the previous day. Seriously - I am averaging about three hours of sleep a night before these fucks start up again.

I can’t work during work hours. I can’t work after work hours. I get very little sleep. My days are filled with this FUCKING racket. I am about to lose my mind.

Someone get me some winning lotto numbers fast…or a job that actually pays me what I am worth!

I am typing this while still hearing this crap outside (and through the walls). I am off for a drive. I think I’ll try to go sleep in my car in a park. I miss sleep.

#ModeMay Photo Challenge!
posted: April 22, 2012

mode_may

Photo Challenge Time!

As the graphic above states, every day in May, you are challenged to take a picture related to the Depeche Mode theme of the day. Be sure to put the #ModeMay hashtag when you post your pics!

Have fun with this. Some examples:
A picture of a clock for “A Question Of Time…
A photo of the Rose Bowl for “101″
A scan of a ticket stub from a Broken Frame-era concert for “A Broken Frame”…

Let’s see how creative you can get. There is no prize, other than people retweeting your pics. :)

Spread the word! Copy/paste this link on your Twitter feed:
http://bratproductions.com/bratblog/archives/179

Not Going To Coachella This Weekend?
posted: April 13, 2012

20120413_coachella

So, you couldn’t make it out to Coachella this year? Well, let’s look at ways you can recreate the experience…

* Play four songs from different bands at the same time.

* Throw piles of dirt all over your car.

* Lock away all your bottled water, put a large number of mannequins in a line near a water hose, and stand in line for free water.

* Go to the gas station, and pour 25 gallons of gas from the pump on the ground.

* Go sit in your car for three-plus hours with the engine off (twice…once for going there, and once for driving back), complaining about how the traffic is ass and you are not moving.

* Play a live concert video on your TV, and stand 500 feet away from it, or…

* Play a live concert video of multiple bands who you do not like, stand in front of it, and complain how if you move you will not be front row for the band you REALLY want to see, or…

* Play a live concert video on your TV, and have a friend constantly stand in front of your TV taking blurry pictures on their mobile phone.

* Turn off your cell phone, and complain about the lack of service.

* Play most of a live album, shut it off a few songs before the end, and then complain about how the sets at Coachella are always shorter than normal concerts.

* Go to your bathroom, and do a “number one” and a “number two”….everywhere but in the toilet. Now, go eat a lot of bad food, then wait outside your bathroom. While waiting for the imaginary line to move, debate the pros and cons of trying to squat over previously laid “waste”, or the medical problems that will arise from popping Imodium.

* Go to a Hot Topic and offer then four times the prices for the shirts they have in stock.

* Stand for eleven hours.

* Put a live album on your iPod, and go find some stoners to stand too close to, or…

* Put a live album on your iPod, go to a bar in a college town and stand too close to people. Extra points for them spilling their drinks on you.

* Go to any crowded mall, and try to listen to the mall music as people who don’t care about the music you are trying to enjoy walk into you and talk around you. It’s just like being there!

You’re Damned If You Do, And…Well…Yeah…You’re Just Damned.
posted: March 26, 2012

20120326_tooth

Backstory: I am not healthy. I grew up with Colitis, and a load of allergies (including dairy). This affected the way I eat (obviously), but also how things like vitamins were ingested into my body. Due to not being able to drink milk (or have a calcium pill have a chance to digest into my body due to my stomach issues), I had a lot of decalcification in my teeth. Not necessarily cavities, but my teeth were just a bit weak. Ok…that should do for backstory…

So, I decided a few months back to go on a bit of a health kick. Well, it wasn’t a “health kick” as much as an attempt to start being a bit more health smart. I found an apple peeler on Amazon, and started eating an apple a day. Yay health. Good for me.

Thanks to my lack-of-calcium, one day about a month ago I was eating an apple, and suddenly felt a bit of the apple get stuck between my teeth. As I peeled the apples, I could not figure how I got apple peel jammed between my teeth. Turns out, I actually broke my tooth…on a small sliced piece of apple. I have that kind of luck.

I went to my normal dentist, and had the tooth fixed. After we were done, he said I had to come in for a cleaning. Now…for a person who has brittle teeth, cleanings always translate into “The dentist will now break a tooth or two, and cost your insurance-less ass a lot of money…and pain”.

Sure enough, I went back for my cleaning and he “found” a hole in two back teeth (my upper right wisdom tooth, and “tooth #2″ next to it). I did not have any pain there before, but he insisted on drilling them. Great.

Jump ahead a week, and now I am getting teeth that WERE fine drilled. Due to me being a wuss and having a bad gag reflex, taking dental x-rays is a pain in the ass. The dentist, instead, was using a rather outdated x-ray to judge where to drill. Either that, or he was using “The Force”. I did not bother to ask. I just let him do his job. After he struck oil, he filled the teeth, and I went on my way.

About 3 hours later, the pain started…hard! Apparently he hit the nerve, and just filled the tooth anyway. After two trips back to the dentist (in which he - without novocaine - drilled down my teeth with the excuse of “I am fixing your bite”, and on the second trip actually hit ANOTHER nerve), he recommended I just have the wisdom tooth pulled that was causing the pain.

The drilling of the two teeth and subsequent trips back were all over the span of the last two weeks. Two weeks of taking a huge amount of Ibuprofen to block the pain, and stress. Now (March 26th), I am an hour away from going to an oral surgeon to get the tooth yanked.

Cleaning, plus drilling / fillings, plus a tooth extraction = over $1000 (and two weeks of constant oral pain). Money I can not really afford to spend (during tax hell), all due to me attempting to be healthy and eat an apple.

Fuck it. In-N-Out seven days a week, and no more dentists. I’ll die sooner, but happier!

I FFFFING HATE THE USPS!
posted: February 13, 2012

It seems like such a simple thing. You give a company your hard earned money, and in turn you expect the company to deliver your merch in a responsible way.

Nope!

Another day, another package received in absolute SHIT shape! Seriously! It is bent right where it says “Do Not Bend” (which jacked up all the record sleeves), and to be even more insulting, it arrived PRE-OPENED!

I really wish this was a rare thing, but I receive mail pre-opened (or mangled) on most days. I am sure, by now, my local postal carriers have a large Depeche Mode collection, because there are LOADS of things I have never received. Or…maybe they hate Depeche Mode, and this is how they get their aggressions out?

Ugh!

Other than obscuring the address on the envelope, these are real pics. Oh…did I mention the package was left, OPEN END UP, outside my door…in the rain?

Do Not Bend. Oh...you were serious?

Oh? You didn't want me to open your main for you? Oopsie!

You wanted those records in mint condition? Oopsie!

Dog ear! DAMMIT!

Puncture!?! Seriously! DAMMIT!

Why I Have Not Slept Much Since Tuesday…
posted: July 28, 2011

killing me...

I am starting up a new website call The Arkivist™. It is a web site by a collector (me), for all collectors. For years, I have had my own custom site set up, where I had all my collectibles entered into a SQL database (pretty, relational, clean). If I needed to double check if I owned something, I simply went to this site I built, and searched through my list…while on a mobile phone. It took years of people going “Wow. That is cool. I wish I had something like that.” before the dim light bulb in my head finally lit up and said “Hey. Dummy! Build the site for everyone else to use!”

Great site. Or…it will be, when my WestHost hell is over with.

As a smart business man, I know that trying to host what will be a HUGE website on a small shared server is not a smart thing. So, on Tuesday I ordered a Dedicated server. This is smart to do BEFORE the launch of The Arkivist™, so my future clients don’t need to experience any downtime. Buy a server. Switch a domain. In a perfect world: 24 hours, max. In reality: much more time…

Tuesday: Buy the server. I find out after a few hours it is crippled to hell. $12/month on shared hosting will let me do loads of things, but $300/month and I am crippled (no root access). Thanks a pantload, Chet, but that math does not add up for me. Deal with tech support and sales, and get a better (and cheaper? WTH?) server on Wednesday. Now, since Wednesday, all I have been waiting for is for the domain to appear on the new server. Has it? NO!

I launch (softly…beta launch) on Monday. I have lots of other crap I am working on, and yet this is taking up my day.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: WestHost, when their sites work, are great. If there is a problem, though….oh man is it an epic fail.

A shout out, though. to Isaac and Troy in tech support. They took the extra time to help. Most appreciated!

An Ode To My Blackberry Bold (March 18th, 2011 - June 8th, 2011)
posted: June 9, 2011

piece of crap!

“You FUCKING piece of SHIT! FUCK!” This is what I said shortly after paying $12 for parking one mile away from the Los Angeles Convention Center, after picking up my less-than-three month old Blackberry Bold, and almost immediately dropping it due to the insane heat coming from it. The phone had not been charging. The phone was not in direct sunlight. It was a barely-70 degree day in Los Angeles. The phone was simply having a supreme malfunction.

From day one, I did not care for this phone. The weird curved buttons make for difficult text entry. Getting stuck in odd sub-navigation areas when I was quickly trying to find an app was frustrating. It was not my Curve, but at least I did not have to deal with that annoying trackball anymore.

At least the trackball phone didn’t overheat, or… (wait. I am getting ahead of myself).

So, for three months, I used the Blackberry Bold constantly. Texting, Twitter. Facebook. IM. MMS pictures. The whole deal (it’s unlimited anyway, so why not?). At night, I would put the phone in the charger, and in the morning, I would start over again. Everything seemed fine.

About two weeks back, I started getting a white screen. I saw nothing else. I could not get it to go away. Removing the battery (for any length of time) did not fix the problem. If I locked the phone, the screen would turn off, but as soon as I unlocked the phone again, I have the white screen. I appreciate a good flashlight, but this is not a feature I needed in my phone.

Eventually, the screen would come back, sporadically. Usually, though, the white screen would just persist. I could still get calls, but I had no idea who was calling until I answered. I could not use the phone for any other functions, until the white screen decided it was tired, and would leave. I had already put in a call to T-Mobile to get a replacement, but that would take a while, and I did not have a replacement phone, nor did I feel like blowing more money on a temp phone until then. I could still receive calls. It was good enough until I could get it replaced.

Then, the night before “the end”, a friend texted me, offering me a pass to E3 (the Electronic Entertainment Expo). I am not a guy to pass on this, so I text back “hell yeah”. I was told to get down to the Los Angeles Convention Center in the morning, and call/text him when I was there, to get escorted in. Cool.

Turns out….not cool.

The morning of June 8th, I get nothing but white screen again. Ugh. I lock the phone (so as to not waste the freshly charged battery), hop in the shower, and drive down to E3. I park a mile away, pay my $12, and prepare for the walk. I grab my phone, and exclaim the top sentence of this little article. No exaggeration, the phone was insanely hot. My hand hurt after picking the damn thing up. I am playing hot potato with the damn thing, trying to get it to turn on, as I walk down Figueroa to get to E3. As I get to the venue, I have a horrifying realization: I don’t know my contact’s phone number. Hell, I don’t remember ANYONE’S phone number, excluding my friend at T-Mobile who was supposed to get me my replacement phone later that day (ahh, irony, I love you). From multiple pay phones along the final stretch to, and inside of the L.A. Convention Center, I am frantically trying to call my phone friend (collect - I had zero change on me), who ignored all my calls. In a last ditch effort, I blow $6 (plus tax) for 10 minutes of internet time at the L.A. Convention Center Business Center. Those of you who follow me saw my frantic messages on Twitter and Facebook. Sadly, these failed. My E3 friend was not monitoring either.

On the one mile walk back to the car, I eventually pass a T-Mobile store. They confirm the phone is dead. They let me call my T-Mobile friend, who was apparently sleeping the entire time I had been trying to call him (reference: it is 2pm when he finally answered the phone). After then driving deep into the Pomona area for my new phone, and installing my SIM, I then notice that every number I have installed to the SIM of the old Bold in the last two months is gone.

Brilliant.

Thanks to the absolute CRAP Blackberry sync app, I was never able to properly get my numbers to back up to my laptop. Now, I have to spend the next few days emailing people, asking for the phone numbers again.

What I learned: I absolutely fucking hate the Blackberry Bold, but I want buttons on my phone, so I am pretty much stuck. I now have a printed backup of all my phone numbers in my wallet, just in case I enter another black day like yesterday, I will at least have more than one person to call.

Side story, but related: When my Mom was dying, I always had my phone in my hand, or right next to me. Even if I went to the bathroom, I would carry the phone with me. My Mom was calling me a few times a day, asking me to save her from hospital food (which I did - very expensive, but it brightened her day, so it was worth it). After she died, I could not break myself from the habit of keeping the phone right next to me. I’m sure some psychologist would read into that and conclude I can not let go of my Mom. Well, DUH! Anyway, yesterday was a really bad wake up call on just how dependent I am on my phone. With cities removing more and more pay phones, and strangers not willing to let you make a call on their phones (I did ask yesterday…I got a lot of “No, sorry”), what is the solution? Do I now have to carry two phones with me, just in case of a backup?

Ugh.

It is 2011. I can have my music horribly compressed from it’s original beautiful quality and put into a cloud, but if I need to call a friend when in need, I am shit out of luck? Great.

(rant over)

Douchebags At A Concert (title should have been “OMG! I Saw OMD, And They Were GREAT!”)
posted: March 30, 2011

douchebag

Tonight was the final night of the new OMD tour. A band who has not toured in decades, and yet who killed it tonight. A great performance.

I was psyched for this show. I was psyched when I scored floor tickets (no thanks to Ticketmaster raping me with service charges). I was psyched when I saw their pre-show appearance at Amoeba Records. I was psyched all day of the show. My enthusiasm dwindled about 30 seconds after hitting the door of the venue. One simple word: douchebags.

Douchebags to the left of me. Douchebags to the right of me. And, especially, douchebags coming from the back (spilling their drinks as they pry their way through the floor crowd), only to decide their prime concert location is right in FUCKING FRONT OF ME!

Over the years, I have gone to less concerts. I love live music, but I absolutely hate the people at the shows. At any concert, I have been guaranteed any (or all) of the following:

“OMG, I LOVE THIS BAND!”
Version 1:
The girl (99% of the time) who insists on screaming that sentence, at the top of her lungs, to anyone who makes the error of showing her any attention. This is almost always followed by the band starting to play their biggest hit, and the girl saying “What song is this?”

Version 2:
The super fan who feels the need to tell their (annoyed) friend every anal-retentive fact about the song currently being performed live. This usually involves either a shrill voice that would shatter glass, or a loud voice that manages to cancel out the amplification behind the band.

Version 3:
The person (usually a girl) whose daddy made a phone call, and got AAA laminates and passes for her and her friends. These people are at the show solely because it is hip to be at the show. They don’t know the music. They have never seen the band before. They spend most of the show taking pictures of themselves, with the band in the background, to prove to their “friends” that they were really there. All the time, I am standing there, wondering if I would really do any time for causing bodily harm to any of these people. Surely a jury would understand that my concert experience was being ruined by a Kardashian/Lindsay/Hilton wannabe…right?

DUDE WHO SMELLS
Usually involves someone drunk off their ass, “lost in the music”, spilling their $10+ alcoholic drink all over the place (including on me), and dancing wildly. This person usually has a gift of body odor that will eat through any existing antiperspirants, and - lucky me - I am stuck right next to them. As I stand there, missing the expensive concert, I try to distract myself from the smell by playing a game. “Is it his ass?” “Do his armpits qualify as weapons of mass destruction?” “Did this fucker bother to shower at all today?” Usually, this does not work, and I am forced to miss even more of the show, as I try to move to a different location. That bring me to…

MOVING DURING A CONCERT
Acceptable: gently working your way through a crowd to be near a friend who you were already standing near.

Unacceptable: Roughly barging through a crowd (with obligatory drink spillage), to get to your loud ass friend (who is ALWAYS standing in front of me), and then proceeing to have a conversation about some bullshit. Hey Einstein…If there is no space in front of me, and you are a foot taller than me, then your ass doesn’t belong there.

THE PHONES
If in the first five minutes of the show, your phone isn’t taking good pictures, it won’t fucking take a good one for the rest of the night. Give up, and just watch the fucking show! I did not pay a shitload of money for a concert just to watch the show through your phone.

PERSONAL SPACE
Fuck that. You get none! You get to enjoy the sweat of the people surrounding you. If I leave a concert sweaty, is it too much to ask that it is solely my own sweat on me?

LOUD BITCH (male or female)
I have touched on this in earlier blog entries. This is the person who feels the need to talk as loud as possible through the entire show, about anything, as long as it has nothing to do with the show. I don’t know about you, loud bitch, but I paid a lot of money for this show. I want to hear the show. I don’t want to hear your babbling. You must have paid as much as me, right? You’re sitting right next to me…you must have. Do you really go and pay all that money, just to idling (and loudly) chat with your friends during the concert? Do everyone a favor. Stay home, play the band’s music on your multimedia device of choice, talk until your vocal chord bleed, and donate the money you would have spent on the concert ticket to a good charity. Everyone wins.

If you have ever seen me at a show, going in happy, and pissed off coming out, now you know why.

To all of you who qualify for any of the above, think of this. One day, I (or anyone else who can’t stand your type at concerts) might snap. Do you really want years of repressed anger showering down upon you, simply because you are a screaming douchebag?

Here is your lesson, douchebag: Shut the fuck up, turn off your fucking phone/camera (unless it can actually capture a good enough sound and picture quality that I will WANT to see on YouTube later), dance within YOUR personal space, and for FUCK‘S SAKE, take a fucking shower before you go to the show! If you body odor eats through a fresh shower, just fucking stay home. Extra cologne is not the cure!

Did I mention that I love OMD. I wish I could have enjoyed the show.

The End Of YouTube…For Me
posted: February 7, 2011

fuck youtube

“Dude, you should put your mashups on YouTube. Everyone is doing it. You have to make videos for your mashups or you won’t get enough exposure.”

Fine. I caved in. I made videos for my mashups. I put them on YouTube. Some, like my Nine Inch Nails / Rick Astley “RickRoll” gained over 400,000 views. There was always a flaw, though. Copyrights…

I have had a very small (but loud minority of) people accuse me of being a hypocrite, as I maintain Depeche Mode’s copyright account on YouTube. “How can you upload copyright infringing video, when you went and deleted mine?” Let’s address that first. The ONLY videos I remove from YouTube are straight rips of home videos (Singles 86>98, 101, Devotional, et cetera), or content stolen from depechemode.com and then re-uploaded to YouTube. I have NEVER deleted any fan-made compilations, live clips, or TV performances (and only once was I asked to remove a bootleg, because the people at The Grammys did not have access to a copyright account). In other words, if you made something with content, other than just “rip, compress, maybe add a subtitle, then upload”, I let it slide (99.9% of time time). Why? Because I am a fan too. Obviously, with the mashups, I have fun with the content. It’s free (I own the material), I am not making any money from it (YouTube and it’s advertisers definitely are), and it makes people happy.

After the first few hits (you are allowed three), I stopped using YouTube, and went to Vimeo, which is more of a “creatives” web site. In all honestly, YouTube is ads, music videos, pets, babies and the odd item being flung at crotches. It is not exactly a rocket science web site. At least the Vimeo footage has a bit more purpose.

Tonight, apparently the people who control Roy Orbison’s estate took issue with me having Eddie Van Halen play guitar on Roy’s “Oh Pretty Woman” song. So, tonight, The Orbison family killed every video I had on YouTube, including all the non-mashup videos.

It’s not like I don’t have them all backed up here on multiple drives. It’s not like I can’t just upload them all to Vimeo (which I will), or to my personal site (which I also will, as a backup). It is rather bullshit, though, when so many other people have put up “fan creations” that were ABSOLUTE SHIT, and they remain, while my mashup videos got yanked.

Farewell, YouTube. I did fine without you before, and I will continue on.

…and a special FUCK YOU to Rick Astley, NBC/Universal and the Orbison Family for getting me deleted. In order: YouTube resurrected your career, you are a huge monopoly that needs to be policed before you take over the world, and…seriously?

I Have Had Enough With The SPAM!!!!
posted: January 7, 2011

spam!

“You’re really ruining my Zen thing, man.” — Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges)

I have turned comments off on this blog. Why, you ask? Because I just had to go and delete all these spam accounts!

No more of this. Sorry, but I just don’t have the time to deal with spammers. A few people screwed it up for everyone…as per usual.

To the spammers, this simple message: FUCK YOU!

This is just the list of spammers in the last month!
You have specified these users for deletion:

ID #584: aabulgarForeva
ID #539: aandalina
ID #491: AbibeGrooxGexp342
ID #490: acaiberriesfx
ID #543: acrodadum
ID #599: Addetwomced
ID #579: affitsEtest
ID #525: Alexlll
ID #585: algoloset
ID #547: allnudecelebsc
ID #573: Alloffplayecy
ID #537: angelikafrazer
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ID #541: assurpipt
ID #511: avinnerllife
ID #601: Babsseecetync
ID #507: BaliaDier
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ID #527: Beadnemeguete
ID #591: Bigclisse
ID #501: bijuteriiargintf
ID #554: BlewGessire
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ID #487: DishinciseE
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ID #586: dvd player
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ID #483: zoonszekpex